Jill Of Some Trades

And Master Of At Least One

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Plop – Revisiting My Take on Goop


The people who know me best know how much Gwyneth Paltrow and I have in common.       I’ve written about my respect for her several times before, indeed citing some of our greatest similarities, minus the size of my wallet of course.  Check these out if you know not of what I speak – https://jillschnei.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/plop/https://jillschnei.wordpress.com/2014/03/31/plop-part-deux-dos-due-zwei-twee/  Gwynnie does have it tough, don’t get me wrong.  Just recently, Goop was called out by NASA for spreading misinformation about using NASA technology in healing stickers sold on her site.  She also enraged GOOPIES (get it, like Groupies, only snobbier) at a recent Summit for the brand in NYC.  Not only did many get upset and leave the meeting of the fabulous minds due to lack of Gwynnie time and ill treatment if they only spent $500 on their ticket, there were ridiculous line ups for treatments promised when they booked their day of grace with the chosen Hollywood Health Nut.  Lastly, some of her adoring public is thinking about consciously uncoupling with Gwyneth when she admitted on Jimmy Kimmel’s show that she really has no idea about what is being sold on her site.

I would never abandon my Gwynnie though, and decided to take some of her advice (even if she doesn’t take it herself) and live the Goop-ie life for one week.  Here are some of the things that I tried…

  • Earthing – Gwynnie said she didn’t know what this was really, maybe some electromagnetic energy force field that’s only available in the ground.  I knew she was just kidding, after all, she was on Jimmy Kimmel and we all know what a joke-ster she is, so I decided to try Earthing for myself.  I pondered the name first, that’s just how deep I am, and thought, well, this is something that I can only do on Earth – not Venus, Mars or Jupiter, just Earth – coolio.  Immediately, I felt a connection to the land.  It can also cure a multitude of maladies like insomnia, arthritis, inflammation and depression.  According to Clint Ober, simply put, “Earthing therapy rests on the intuitive assumption that connecting to the energy of the planet is healthy for our souls and bodies.”  I decided to walk bare-foot through the park, or tip-toe through the tulips, if you will.  I kicked off my Naot sandals (not on Goop’s list of must have, I must invest in one of their choices) and plunged forward into the grass.  Immediately, I jumped back after stepping into a big pile of doggie doo – GROSS!!!! I found a bird bath and joined my fine feathered friends for a quick rinse before I tried again.  I got squeamish thinking I saw a worm and a deer tick.  Earthing isn’t for the faint of heart, so I gave up, running like a girl back to the safety of the pavement and my sandals.  Verdict – caused more stress then it cured.
  • Jade Egg Practice – wanting a deeper sense of connection to myself and all of the other side benefits of the Jade Egg suggested on Goop including some kegel help, I decided to try it.  When I saw the $66 price tag, I immediately thought, I can’t spend that much money on my hoo-hah why not try a regular hen’s egg?  Same shape – right?  Except every time I did it, the egg kept cracking – what a mess!  People on the subway also looked at me strangely because every time I tried to shove my way into the doors, another egg yolk appeared at my feet.  Verdict – don’t use regular eggs, and skip this whole thing. 
  • IV Drip  (available at the Goop Wellness Summit) – I wasn’t able to charter a private jet to fly down to LA to partake in a weekend of wellness and GP disciples, so I thought about just getting an IV drip which they promise will rehydrate you!  Then I thought about it and went with nature’s hydration, scientifically proven to help you bring more water to your little cells – good old water.  Verdict – OH PLEASE!
  • Meaningful small talk – My Gwynnie has meaning behind all of her conversations, so delving deeper into Goop, I found an article on how to have meaningful small talk.  All 8 steps would be overwhelming for a mere mortal like me, so I decided to start with one small tip – ask for advice, because it makes people feel good about themselves.  I’ve started at a new work place, so I thought this would be a great way to get to know people.  I went to the Executive VP’s office and asked him if he knew the best place to find a gun-metal coloured purse would be.  I’ve been looking everywhere for one!  Instead of feeling like an expert, he ordered me to leave his office.  I then walked into the Sales VP’s office and asked him if he thought I should go with Mac Lipglass for a tried and true colour (my fave is Love Child) or go with Charlotte Tilbury?  He never heard of either but I’m sure it made him feel important to be included in such a riveting conversation.  Verdict – mixed.
  • Spirituality (Understanding How to Move and Manipulate Energy) – GP is a spiritual goddess, really!  It pours out of her pores.  The first thing that I think of when I see her, aside from the awful hunchback she will have later in life if she keeps slouching, is how she is a child of the Earth – so in touch with herself.  I read this article and felt overwhelmed by the ten steps, so I focused on one for more energy: “Make a list of different feelings. Free associate with each feeling. What is your relationship to that feeling? What are your beliefs or images about those feelings? Where do you tend to feel those feelings, if at all, in your body?”  When I wrote down my feelings, particularly about Goop, the first was bored.  I saw myself yawn as I was thinking about my feelings.  I felt my arms stretch back and my mouth open wide enough to catch flies.  My relationship with boredom – too boring to think about.  My beliefs are???? Not sure, can’t answer that one.  I think it’s find something less boring to do.  Verdict – MEH!

So, after basking in Goopie brilliance for one week, I learned several valuable lessons – never go to someone who is not a health care practitioner for advice or someone who has no clue what she is talking about for that matter for mental advice.  Stars like Gwynnie and Cameron Diaz, will never be my go to girls when I need treatment for something.  Remember Goop isn’t a lifestyle, it’s a business.

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The Stress of Blogging…And Other Stuff

I don’t think that blogging is all that stressful. In fact, I enjoy writing my blog.  I rarely get writer’s block.  Researching, checking out videos and other Oz-worthy information is a little stressful though, but not enough to add to inflammation in my potentially riddled body.  The only real stress is finding the time to blog…and the lack of really great recent Gwyneth Paltrow quotes.  I do have faith though, that I will always find the time to write and that Gwynnie will say something really dumb….soon.  I have to give her props for the Jailbird Cake in response to Martha Stewart’s own nastiness – there is nothing more stinging than a WASP feud (pun intended).  Check out the linkhttp://goop.com/recipes/sweets/jailbird-cake.  I personally will not be making this cake – it calls for a mix master and I don’t own one.  I’ve been banned from using the mixer at my mother’s house ever since the gingerbread man incident of 2008.  Talk about stress!  It was my first time using a mix master since I was a wee one and it was a bit of a disaster that resulted in a set of broken beaters and a warning never to touch my mother’s kitchen equipment again.  Since then, she has relented and lets me use the kettle and the dishwasher.  I’ve also been upgraded to stove top usage since I’m the only person in the family who can make a good pot of rice, but every time I even think about getting close the the mecca that is the mixer, I’m given a stern warning that it has to last the rest of my mother’s life and that she is down to her last set of beaters thanks to me.  OOOPS….sorry!

Getting back to the stress of blogging, most days, I barely have time to answer my work emails.  I’ve stopped answering most emails from friends just due to lack of time – sorry friends!  I still do get joy from writing my little blog so I do try to make an effort where I can.  Bizarre fact – last week, when I blogged just once, I had more views than almost any other week.  Another interesting fact if you do blog, and I’m not sure that this happens to everyone – I get WAAAAYYYY more views on weekdays than on weekends which is the best time for me to write.  Lesson – just get it over with during the week and party on during the weekends.  When I write about travel, I also get more followers…interesting….I love travel and could write about it every single day.

In terms of stress relief, my daily Deepak Chopra/Oprah 21 Day Meditation Experience is going off just as expected – I listen raptly as DOprah speaks and as soon as it’s time to meditate, I lose it.  Fortunately, Deepak always assures me that the goal isn’t perfection.  I’m sad that it’s winding up but to tide me over, I’m reading Chopra’s “The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire”.  It makes me feel deep that I’m reading it!  It’s actually really well written – it’s all about the role of coincidence in your life.  Ever read the bore that is “The Celestine Prophecy”?  That book lost me after chapter one which was the only good chapter in the whole book.  It was all about coincidence (just that chapter) – I blocked out the rest of the book since it qualifies as cruel and unusual punishment.  Chopra’s book on the other hand, is all about coincidence – it’s the central theme – with some quantum physics to make you feel especially smart.  He explains everything so well, it doesn’t even lose me when he starts talking about molecules and atoms – check it out if you are interested in the topic.  You won’t be disappointed unless you only like horror and chick-lit – then you are out of luck.

Last but not least, a moment of gratitude.  Today I am grateful to my over 70 year old mother (I’m not going to share her full age – that’s a not very carefully guarded secret).  My poor little mother who has health issues of her own, got up and offered a heavily pregnant woman a seat on Toronto’s subway.  I sat comfortably watching this, thinking – YAY Mom!  Give up your seat instead of me…just kidding – I wasn’t even there.  I just can’t believe that people today let my mother give up her seat while they sat there.  It’s common courtesy to give up your seat for an elder, a pregnant woman, someone that is blind, uses a cane, is in a walker, etc.  I see people everyday pretend to be asleep or lost in their book so that they can stay comfy.  All I have to say is shame on you!  Let’s be a little kinder to one another, and offer someone who needs to rest a place to do it and not make someone who isn’t old at all (like my Mummy) but who may be more advanced in years than you, give up hers.

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Hydration and the Changing Structure of Water



Courtesy of Google images

We all know that we are supposed to drink the standard 8-10 glasses of water a day, but most people don’t seem to do that.  I’m going to spend a couple of days on hydration which is especially important since summer is just around the corner.  I also wanted to write about some fascinating new studies that I learned about thanks to my good friend Gwyneth Paltrow and my personal bible – US Weekly.  You can scoff if you would like, but the same people who judge me for reading a so-called tabloid magazine, are the same people who want to read it when I finish “just to look at the pictures” or sneak a peak at the best weekly in line at the grocery store.  Let’s just say, US Magazine is never wrong when it comes to their celebrity scoops and it is my not-so-guilty pleasure.

I really decided to think about Gwynnie’s latest words of wisdom and act upon them because they were, as always, awe inspiring. Here they are for your reference:

“I am fascinated by the growing science behind the energy of consciousness and its effects on matter,” the newly single Paltrow wrote. “I have long had Dr. Emoto’s coffee table book on how negativity changes the structure of water, how the molecules behave differently depending on the words or music being expressed around it.”

The controversial Japanese doctor Masaru Emoto has published several books on water based on his theory that human consciousness changes the structure of water. One of his most famous experiments involved yelling at rice grains to see the effect that the negativity had.

Paltrow touts his theories in the latest issue of Goop, enlisting Dr. Habib Sadeghi to “explain further.” The doctor, who previously worked with Paltrow on his spiritual weight loss book, wrote a column entitled “Figure of Speech: How the Words We Choose Shape our Lives,” which references Emoto’s work, and claims that he “proved that energy generated by positive or negative words can actually change the physical structure of an object.” (usmagazine.com)

To test this theory, I decided to emulate GP and her inspiration Masaru Emoto.  I took several brown rice grains that are Oz approved out of a box.  I did NOT cook them.  I merely spread 2-3 on a napkin and proceeded to spend 30 minutes yelling at them.  Getting no reaction, I tried again.  These were tough nuts….errr….grains…to crack and I was getting no where with them.  I threw them in a pot of boiling water and told both the rice and the boiling water that they were ugly and their mother dressed them funny.  This finally got a reaction.  The water BUBBLED and one of the rice grains completely disintegrated.  This proved that negative words could change the physical structure of rice and water.  I then decided to play nice or good cop if you will.  I got two more grains of rice and put them on the counter and told them how good they were.  Over and over and over again.  I became at one with the grains telling them that I was proud of their long journey to my kitchen.  After two hours of coaxing a reaction, one fell to the floor, either in gratitude, or maybe it was the gigantic sneeze that I had.  I was complimenting the pepper at the same time.  Please do not try this at home – you may not know your own strength and a piece of rice could fall to the floor causing injury to both you and the little grain.

This was an amazingly gratifying day and I shall be like Gwyneth and go forth and purchase Dr. Emoto’s coffee table book to learn more about all of the physical structure.  Tomorrow, you’ll hear more about hydration.  Today I am grateful that I got to see one of my besties AK.  I also discovered that eating too much really hurts when you aren’t used to it.  Hey AK – next time, let’s just stick to the appetizers – what do you say?  Even though I feel like a swallowed an elephant, I am still…

Gratefully yours,




Plop Returns – Thank You Gwyneth Paltrow!

I’m going to start my entry today with what I am grateful for.  Today, I am grateful, once again, to Gwyneth Paltrow.  I’ve missed her so.  Whenever she opens her mouth, I realize how great my life is compared to the trials that she faces, each and every day in her so-called life.  Poor thing – she has so much stress, she definitely is riddled with inflammation.  I still think, based on her latest and greatest quotes, that we still have a lot in common and I’m going to take you through some of the goodies.  

  • “You come across [online comments] about yourself and about your friends, and it’s a very dehumanizing thing,” she shared. “It’s almost like how, in war, you go through this bloody, dehumanizing thing, and then something is defined out of it.”  I can totally relate to this!  I was at a dinner party recently, and I was, for the first time in my life, carving a chicken.  My “friend” took a picture of me doing this onerous task and captioned it “Jill?  Is that u?” and posted it on facebook.  It was dehumanizing in a way that I just can’t explain.  It wasn’t a true war like what Gwynnie has to go through.  It was just the raw animal power of knife going through chicken flesh.  Then to be mocked for it?  Dehumanizing.  Something did become defined out of it though – I learned that when at someone’s dinner party – don’t volunteer to cut the chicken, even if it’s on your plate.  I bet GP doesn’t cut up her own farm-raised, free range, antibiotic free, and flavour free chicken.  I hear you sister – social media is war
  • On The Met Gala: “I’m never going again. It was so un-fun. It was boiling. It was too crowded. I did not enjoy it at all.”  I know – being at an event where you get to where a couture gown must have been traumatic.  Poor thing.  I’ve had to go to a bar mitzvahs, weddings, kids’ birthday parties and even a baseball game or two where I felt exactly the same way – minus the couture, of course
  • “When I was twenty-one, a friend gave me a book called Diet for a New America by John Robbins, which exposed the brutal practices of American factory farms. That, coupled with a lecture from Leonardo DiCaprio (when he was nineteen and I was twenty-one) about how such animals are kept and processed, made me lose my desire for factory farm pork and beef right there.” [My Father’s Daughter]  I am an animal lover too!  I also think that they are treated horribly at factory farms and that we should be more conscious of being kind to all creatures great and small.  I, on the other-hand, received a lecture, not from Leo, but from a homeless man on the subway.  Incidentally, when I was 21, my friend gave me a wedgie – we all have our crosses to bear
  • “We’ve got a wood-burning pizza oven in the garden—a luxury, I know, but it’s one of the best investments I’ve ever made.” [My Father’s Daughter]  I have an old pizza box from 1999 next to my plant – kind of the same, no?  By the way, my plant’s name was Robert – like Robert Plant. The pizza was a good investment at the time, but thanks to Dr. Oz, it is just an occasional treat.  Can Gwynnie even eat pizza?  What if, perish the thought, she accidentally had canned cheese on it?  Her body would be in a state of war with itself
  • “I first had a version of this at a Japanese monastery during a silent retreat—don’t ask, it’s a long story.”  I can’t ask GP and you can’t answer if it was a silent retreat.  That’s our Gwyneth, such a silly little bear all stuffed with fluff
  • “You know, I use organic products, but I get [laser treatment]. It’s what makes life interesting, finding the balance between cigarettes and tofu.”  EXACTLY – it’s finding that balance that GP talks about, like our mayor, Rob Ford, with a crack pipe in one hand and a double cheeseburger in the other – all balanced!  I need to get more balance in my life
  • On aging, in 2002: “Beauty fades! I just turned 29, so I probably don’t have that many good years left in me.”  I am going to be celebrating the 15th anniversary of my 29th birthday.  I have no good years left in me.  I should have ended it all at 29 while I still had a life like Gwynnie.  We all know that life doesn’t begin at 30, it ends at 29
  • “One evening when I had my wood-burning stove going, I realized I hadn’t thought of dessert.”  One day, when I had my kettle boiling, I realized that I too, hadn’t thought about dessert – I just thought about how my dandelion tea was going to taste like dirt, but cleanse my liver #firstworldproblems

I don’t mean to bully Gwyneth, but seriously, the girl needs to learn how to keep her yap shut or hire a better publicist.  I’m sure I’ll be writing about her again soon.  Until then, I am…

Gratefully yours,


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Plop Part Deux (Dos, Due, Zwei, Twee)


I’m disappointed in myself.  I have done something to you, my readers, that I despiseth.  I told a falsehood.  I said yesterday, that I would go back to writing about DASH like a good little Dr. Oz blogger.  Instead, I find myself, one last time, feeling the need to compare myself to Gwyneth Paltrow.  I can’t stop myself, it’s a painful addiction, but the first step is admitting that I have a problem.  It’s an unconscious uncoupling from the good angel sitting on my right shoulder telling me that it isn’t nice to make fun of those who are less fortunate than you.  I truly believe that if Gwyneth is less fortunate – we’ve already established that she works harder than I do.  She also hears voices in the rocks of Sedona and she would rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin…let’s find out some more ways that life is a bit more trying and some other words of wisdom in Plop Part Deux (I, like Gwyneth am fluent in a number of languages):

1)  “I am who I am. I can’t pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year.”  It’s really tough being a girl who doesn’t want to be rich or famous.  At least she is being true to herself.  I too am true to myself.  For instance, when I read my blog to my friend yesterday, I did it in a fake Britsh accent, then proceeded to laugh so hard at myself in a sound that can only be called “the hyena” that I cried, in public.  Nothing like being yourself, except, when you can learn how to not make a spectacle out of yourself in public.  Clearly, I am just learning but luckily, I have a role model in Gwynnie.  BTW – if she is an actress, shouldn’t she be able to pretend to be someone who makes $25,000 a year?  Isn’t that what acting is all about – pretending to be someone that you are not?

2)  “Beyoncé’s like, ‘Okay. The singing is great. But you’re not having any fun.’ She’s like, ‘Remember when we were at Jay’s concert and Panjabi MC comes on and you do your crazy Indian dance? Do that. Be you!’”  I know – me too – well, it’s not Beyoncé giving me the be you advice.  It’s usually a friend saying “Do that crazy Phoebe run of yours” – that’s Phoebe from friends – click on the link if you aren’t familiar https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_0Ta_DIWuU, yes that’s how they want to see me run…only one problem – I’m not doing it on purpose, that’s just the way I run… and they are doing it so that they can laugh at me.

3)  “Sometimes Harvey Weinstein will let me use the Miramax jet if I’m opening a supermarket for him.”  OMG  – we have so much in common!  Sometimes, I will jet around a supermarket, picking up what I need for my Dr. Oz inspired eating!  Oh wait, is that not the same as Gwynnie jetting to a supermarket?

4)  “I would rather die than let my kid eat Cup-a-Soup.” Totally agree with her!  I don’t like this salty, fake soup either, and I too would rather leave a child motherless than let them eat this garbage.  Hey, Chris Martin – you can just raise those kids yourself if they are ever fed Cup-a-Soup!  As Dr. Oz would say, maybe she is catastrophizing?

5) “Some days I feel like everyone in my world has plugged themselves into my kidneys. I’m so tired.”  Me too!  OMG – I thought no one out there understood me.  Sometimes, I feel like people are plugging into my other body parts too, but that’s only when I have a creepy man standing too close to me on the subway.   Honestly, I just have no clue what she means…maybe she should look into her intense fatigue – but it’s likely because she works so much harder than almost any woman on the planet.

6) “One cold wintry day in London, I was dreaming about salad nicoise—one of my favorites.”  For me, one cold wintry day in Toronto, I was dreaming of summer – especially this LONG COLD WINTER.  I’m so done with it.  We are going to have to agree to disgree on this one Gwyneth!

7) “One year I was given a birthday present I’ll never forget — a cooking lesson from Jamie Oliver.”  One year, I too was given a birthday gift that I’ll never forget – it was the ugliest jade necklace that I’d ever seen – I have no clue what the person who gave it to me was thinking.   Bad idea!  I thought GP loved cooking though?

8) “I had my first bowl of gazpacho when I was fifteen in Spain, and the impression it made was a lasting one.”  Wow – I had my first bowl of gazpacho at my mother’s place in Toronto.  It left a lasting impression too.  I thought – why would anyone rave over cold tomato soup?  If you like it that much, just open a jar of Ragu sauce and throw in some ice cubes – why pretend it’s something that it isn’t (gourmet).

9) “He [Chris Martin] can’t have background music on. It has to be 100 percent of his attention. But if he isn’t at home, I turn on the hip-hop. I’m like a bad mutha rapping along to every word as I cook.”  I too need music when I cook.  I am also like a bad mutha tucker (excuse my language), it’s the urban Jill coming out to play.  I’m feeling like playing a little rap now myself, but I have Bruno Mars and Maroon 5 on now – so good!  Perhaps I can partake in some rap later and get jiggy wit it?

On that note, I will have to go back to the real point of my blog tomorrow, but I have enjoyed this brief interlude.

Today, I am grateful for all of the lovely comments, likes and follows I have received since I started writing my little blog.  I can’t tell you how much it means when I get that feedback.  So thank you for reading.

Gratefully yours,






(image courtesy of http://www.freewebs.com/embroiderydesignstore/apps/photos../photo?photoid=92177108)

I just can’t help but be inspired by Gwyneth Paltrow.  For today only, and for one last blog, I chooseth to write in the voice of the hardest working mother in the stratosphere.  In fact, so inspired am I by her genius, that I decided to rename my blog Goop but realized that it was already taken by my muse.  I am renaming my blog Plop in her honour.  I am feeling rather out of sorts though – are Goop and Plop verbs or nouns?  You can make the argument that Goop is a noun, for example, “what is this goop on my plate?” but plop seems to be a verb.  I actually would prefer not to write a sentence containing plop – it is not lady-like.  Now on from such trivial matters to how Gwyneth inspires me and my journey on the road to good health. I thought that I would use some facts and quotes to illustrate our similarities:

1) Gwyneth’s middle name is Kate.  My middle name is Kate!  Oh wait – I don’t have a middle name – in fact my name is a four letter word – not that kind – oh never mind.  BAD EXAMPLE!

2) “Life is “different” when you have an “office job” because it’s “routine and you know, you can do all the stuff in the morning and then you come home in the evening,”.   She is absolutely right.  I don’t know why mother’s all over the planet are so up in arms over this.  She has it much harder than most everyone.  She works, at most, in her supporting roles 782 hours a year (14 hour days x 8 weeks) while the average working woman works a minimum of 2080 hours over 52 weeks.  This of course doesn’t include commute time in a luxurious long vehicle (either a bus or a subway usually).  Although I am not a mother, I can only speak for myself when it comes to how much easier and more routine my job is than hers!  Why this week alone, I had to be up at 3:45am to be at a taping for our morning show with a client. The night before, I did make sure I was out of the office, but I had a client dinner (not complaining, our clients are lovely, but there is an expectation in my role that a few times a month you must entertain).  I started my day yesterday at 9am, but didn’t make plans for the evening since I knew that I would be at work late.  I am also heading into the office for a bit today (Saturday).  All very routine and simple – thank you Gwyneth, for reminding everyone how easy we have it compared to you.

3) I don’t hold on to fear as much as I used to, because I’ve learned a lot about genuinely not caring what strangers think about me. It’s very liberating. It’s very empowering, and I’ve learned a lot of that from Jay—Shawn Carter—Z, because his approach to life is very internal. It’s a very good lesson to learn.”  I KNOW right?  I used to hang on to fear too!  I used to totally be afraid of flying and bugs (all including spiders even though they are not technically in the same class, order and family as the lowly bug).  Oh, wait – I still am afraid of them. I don’t care about what strangers think though – and it is empowering, although I didn’t learn that from Jay-Z – I learned it from my Mom.  Oh, that seems so trite compared to Gwyneth.  SIGH.

4)  “I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin.”  I too, would rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin – and I know just the Toronto mayor that can get us some Gwyneth!  Actually, I do love cheese but as per my Dr. Oz vow, it’s a treat only and I haven’t had any in four weeks.  My main source of dairy is and forevermore will be Greek yogurt.

5) “We’re human beings and the sun is the sun—how can it be bad for you? I don’t think anything that’s natural can be bad for you,”  How sage is her wisdom?  Nothing natural can be bad for you – so true.  Why opium is from poppies, therefore it is natural and no one would ever abuse opiates.  Sugar is natural and eating something so natural is great for you, isn’t it?  The sun is natural, and we do need a limited amount to get Vitamin D, but of course, the sun never causes skin cancer (Jill says sarcastically).  I choose to wear sunscreen (Dr. Oz approved) and also take D3 supplements as recommended by my “Whiz-ard”.

6) “When I pass a flowering zucchini plant in a garden, my heart skips a beat.”  When I pass zucchini in a grocery store – my heart skips a beat!  Not only is this little vegetable a big source of Vitamin C and other sources of nutrients, it’s also on Dr. Oz’s list of low glycemic vegetables!

7) “I’ll never forget it. I was starting to hike up the red rocks, and honestly, it was as if I heard the rock say, ‘You have the answers. You are your teacher.’ I thought I was having an auditory hallucination.”  I’ll never forget a trip that my friends and I took to The Biggest Loser Resort in Malibu several years ago (we all love the show).  I’m not a huge hiker and every day for 5 days in a row, they made us hike mountains.  At the end of the week, it was honestly as if I heard the waves of the ocean in the distance say to me “You are a schmuck – you are in total pain – what were you thinking? At least you didn’t sprain your ankle or get Lyme Disease.”  I thought I was having an auditory hallucination and then a month and a half later, my toe nail, blackened from the trauma of the hikes fell off and I knew that it was true.  Although Dr. Oz thinks exercise is important – so just find one that you will love and is in your skill set.  Clearly, I should stick to dance and working out with my trainer…indoors.

Allow me to end with a moment of gratitude.  Today, I am grateful for the inspiration that GP has provided me over the last two days.  I’ll be more serious tomorrow.  Promise…and until then,

I am gratefully yours,




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A DASH of Goop



Today, I must begin with what I am grateful for.  It is Gwyneth Paltrow.  Yes, the pretentious princess of all things Goop-y is what I am grateful for.  She allowed me to embrace my inner (and outer) pretention and will be my muse for this entry.  It happened with just a short title – Conscious Uncoupling.  Don’t get me wrong, I hate when a marriage ends, but who expects celebrity marriages to last and at ten years, Gwyneth and Chris Martin have practically been together forever.  What better way to announce the demise of their union with those words – I could not have written it better myself.  So today, I will be writing the entry with Paltrow poise.   I am also writing it with a fake British accent in case you were wondering.  I am listening to Shake Senora by Pitbull (I’m at the “My girl got a big old booty” part) – does that ruin my image? So catchy!   

It is with a heart full of sadness that I have decided to separate from overly processed food. I have been working hard for well over a dozen years, some of it with Lean Cuisines, some of it separated from frozen entrees, to see what might have been possible for dinner, and I have come to the conclusion that while I love frozen food, and yes even some canned soups very much we will remain separate. I am, however, and always will be fond of Diet Coke, and in many ways other artificial sweetners (although I cannot separate from Splenda). I am an eater, foremost, of incredibly wonderful vegetables and fruit and I ask for time and space and privacy to be respected at this difficult time. I have always eaten Lean Cusine and Healthy Gourmet privately, and I hope that as I consciously uncouple from all things frozen or not in season, I will be able to continue in the same manner.

As a curator of Dr. Oz’s advice, I have chosen to reveal more of DASH to you, dear reader in the hopes that you too may learn the fabulosity that is eating all of the main food groups.  As I scribed in my blog-eth, you eat from all of the main food groups for this plan of wonderous abandonment.  The plan also is said to have many benefits including, “… preventing the onset of high blood pressure…reduces the occurence of heart attacks and strokes (by 18 and 24 percent respectively)…it reduces the risk of developing heart failure by 37 percent…it reduces the development of kidney stones by 45%…it reduces the risk of developing colon cancer by 20 percent…it reduces the risk of developing diabetes…it even helps people think more clearly (The DASH Diet for Weight Loss, pages 5-6).  I am thinking much more clearly now, and have not had any of the fuzziness that I had on the Oz plan and another plus is that it reduces the risk of developing diabetes.

The basic premise of DASH is Hi-Lo-Slo: High volume, Low Calorie, Slow to Eat.  Basically, healthy foods that are low in calories, yet with enough bulk to make you feel full and take you awhile to eat so that your fullness signal can be activated.  I wrote more specifics in Tuesday’s blog, but eating fresh fruit and vegetables is important, as well as whole grains and other healthy carbohydrates.  There is a lot of fibre in this diet, therefore you should satiate your thirst with a delightful glass of aqua (water).  You should also not hoover your food.  Oops – forgot my Goopiness for a minute!  Eat slowly, chewing eat bite 35 times (ok just slow down).  They also discuss CICO – calories in, calories out – this is how people gain, regulate or lose weight.  Sound familiar?   It’s because I was on a rant yesterday about how simple this all can be for the average person – there are always exceptions. 

There is a lot of content in this book.  Here is a link that explains the food plan very succinctly http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/dash-diet-explained.  I’ll provide some more details over the weekend, but as always, kindly check with your health care practioner (Gwyneth speak for doctor) before trying any new eating plan. 

Until later, I am Goopily Yours,