image courtesy of manbunhaorstyle.net (yes this is for real)
In 2016, I shared a post of things that keep me up at night, if you haven’t read it, it’s completely fascinating if I do say so myself (Trumpian modesty or an alternative fact?). Here is a link Things That Make Me Go HMMMMMMM – 2016. This year, I have many more deep thoughts that I ponder on my what will become of me couch including:
- Last year, I wondered why man buns were a thing? This year, I’m wondering if the hipster who invented the semi-bun or top-knot is laughing that so many men think that this is actually a thing. It’s really not, it’s a cruel joke that you should cut off now. Go on, take that elastic out, run your fingers through your two inches of hair and snip it off. It’s a look that’s wrong on every level, trust me. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind
- Speaking of which, if you notice food in a hipster’s bushy beard do you 1) tell him, 2) assume he’ll shampoo it out later, 3) think he’s saving it for a snack?
- Do you shampoo a beard?
- My knee hurts – do I need a knee replacement? Has the warrantee on my part run out?
- Why did those scientists need to do a study to figure out if dogs love their owners? Doesn’t the fact that a dog goes nuts when you get home, looks at you with absolute adoration, stays with you when you are sick, sighs sadly when you are unhappy and needs to sit as close to you or on you as possible give you a clue? Thanks Rocket Scientists for answering a question as burning as the Caramilk Secret or which came first, the chicken or the egg. Maybe the funds from the next experiment should go towards curing cancer
- How is it that some people hate cilantro? It’s totally amazing!
- Why can’t we have a soundtrack playing when we are walking along the street like they do in movies?
- Is Mariah Carey that much of a diva or is she just putting on an act? It’s got to be an act, forget this one
- What do the words to “New Moon on Monday” by Duran Duran really mean? It’s been bothering me for years (obviously). Simon LeBon never made sense when he explained it. It’s very catchy but makes zero sense
- Why did they name New York City after the state? Did they just get lazy? New York, New York? Next time I go to Buffalo, should I just say that I’m going to New York, that way people won’t judge me?
- Why couldn’t I find Swiss Cheese in Switzerland? Was that a foodie ploy to boost tourism?
- How many times have the following words/sayings turned up on The Bachelor: 1) Journey, 2) Right Reasons, 3) Winning, 4) Your Tribe Has Spoken (oops that’s Survivor – sorry!)
- Why of all of the things that I’ve written does “Ode to Probiotics” seem to be the most popular?
- If my plane crashes over the Atlantic Ocean (or any body of water), is that little life jacket/flotation device really going to keep me alive?
- Is my plane going to crash??????
- How did Jack on “This is Us” die?
- Is bigly a word?
- Why do people always call Us Weekly a gossip rag when it’s 100% accurate?
- When am I going to be able to go to a yoga class and not get a huge case of the giggles?
- Scratch that one – I gave up yoga
- Do people really like sushi or only think they should because it’s so pretty?
Sooo much to think about…no wonder I have insomnia. Tune in next year for my latest update on things that make me go hmmmm.