The "Whiz-ard" That Is Dr. Oz

And Other Stories

Things That Make Me Go HMMMMMMM

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Image courtesy of independent.ie

Some days, when I am sitting in a boring meeting,on the subway or my what will become of me couch, I have very deep thoughts.  Very DEEP thoughts.  I thought I’d share some of the things that cause me distraction at work, on the subway when I’m supposed to be focused on my book challenge or on my sofa when I should be focused on the high quality TV that I’m such a fan of.  If you think I’m thinking about world peace or how to eradicate poverty, you are sadly mistaken.  I’m the same as you every day folks thinking about the really important issues like:

  • Why man buns are a thing?  Was it thanks to Jared Leto?
  • Why are man braids becoming a thing – they are really unattractive
  • Why do people insist on wearing those ear-deforming spacers?  They are just an eye sore
  • Are hipsters really hip?  If so, why do they try so hard not to be?
  • Why is it whenever someone tells me not to touch something because it’s hot do I feel like I should touch it to make sure that they aren’t making it up?
  • Why is the plural of goose geese but moose are just moose?  Would it be weird or trend starting if I threw meese around in conversation?
  • Is that mark on my back a spider bite?  If so, my eyes are widening in fear and I wish that I could run around and scream
  • Do parents really think that their ugly baby is cute or are they just saying that because it’s politically correct?  I was an ugly baby, I can say this
  • If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?  And please don’t tell me pilgrims, I need a more original answer
  • Why would Fox ever cancel The Mindy Project AKA the finest half hour on television
  • Will HULU renew The Mindy Project?
  • Why is it that I still love ’80s music even though the lyrics never made any sense?
  • Will Betty White make it to 100?
  • Should I get fillers?  I think my eyes are sinking
  • Was I as annoying as the 20 year olds that take public transit when I was there age?
  • Did that girl really walk out of the bathroom at work and not wash her hands?  Doesn’t she realize how gross that is?  Should I have told her that she had toilet paper on her shoe?
  • Is there still a market for the VHS tapes that I’m trying to sell or will I have to take them to Value Village?
  • Will people realize that what will become of me couch came from a book (can’t remember which one) or do they think I made it up?  Either way, it’s become a Jill-ism
  • Will the meek inherit the earth?  I don’t think so – no one will speak up to claim it, but am I wrong?
  • If I go to a 24 hour store at 3 in the morning will it really be open or is that a marketing ploy?
  • How does The Bachelor say “will you accept this rose?” with a straight face
  • How much does Chris Harrison get paid for saying “Ladies this is the final rose…Most dramatic rose ceremony ever”! etc.  I can take this off the list – $60,000 per episode – thank you Google
  • Is Phil really sorry to tell someone that they have been eliminated from “The Amazing Race”?
  • Does Kanye West really think he’s a great designer?
  • Does Kanye West really think he’s a god?
  • Why do I care about Kanye West?
  • When Drake says “You used to call me on my cell phone” – shouldn’t he say text?  Who calls anymore?  Love Hotline Bling but get real
  • Why do people love Adele so much? As a person she seems lovely, she has a great voice, but all of her songs sound the same – am I wrong?  HMMMMM…..

I know – it’s a lot to think about – you try getting through the day when there is so much going on in your head.

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Author: Jill Schneiderman

Hello and welcome to my blog. This started as a one year experiment to try to improve my health, turning to Dr. Oz for advice. One year became two and after that, the writing bug hit and writing about travel, lifestyle and my own musings became more fun. I'll return to the "Whiz-ard" when the feeling comes, but exploring other topics and getting to connect with new people and re-connect with old friends has been fun! Remember, any health advice you see here should be vetted with your family doctor. Any travel advice that I give though, should be followed! I am a marketing professional, working in media. This allows me to continue my obsession with all things TV and print and get paid for it. I'm an avid traveller, reader and shopper but make time for friends, family and volunteering so that I don't feel completely shallow.

One thought on “Things That Make Me Go HMMMMMMM

  1. Pingback: Things That Make Me Go HMMM…2017 | The "Whiz-ard" That Is Dr. Oz

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