The "Whiz-ard" That Is Dr. Oz

And Other Stories


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Things That Make Me Go HMMMMMMM

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Image courtesy of independent.ie

Some days, when I am sitting in a boring meeting,on the subway or my what will become of me couch, I have very deep thoughts.  Very DEEP thoughts.  I thought I’d share some of the things that cause me distraction at work, on the subway when I’m supposed to be focused on my book challenge or on my sofa when I should be focused on the high quality TV that I’m such a fan of.  If you think I’m thinking about world peace or how to eradicate poverty, you are sadly mistaken.  I’m the same as you every day folks thinking about the really important issues like:

  • Why man buns are a thing?  Was it thanks to Jared Leto?
  • Why are man braids becoming a thing – they are really unattractive
  • Why do people insist on wearing those ear-deforming spacers?  They are just an eye sore
  • Are hipsters really hip?  If so, why do they try so hard not to be?
  • Why is it whenever someone tells me not to touch something because it’s hot do I feel like I should touch it to make sure that they aren’t making it up?
  • Why is the plural of goose geese but moose are just moose?  Would it be weird or trend starting if I threw meese around in conversation?
  • Is that mark on my back a spider bite?  If so, my eyes are widening in fear and I wish that I could run around and scream
  • Do parents really think that their ugly baby is cute or are they just saying that because it’s politically correct?  I was an ugly baby, I can say this
  • If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?  And please don’t tell me pilgrims, I need a more original answer
  • Why would Fox ever cancel The Mindy Project AKA the finest half hour on television
  • Will HULU renew The Mindy Project?
  • Why is it that I still love ’80s music even though the lyrics never made any sense?
  • Will Betty White make it to 100?
  • Should I get fillers?  I think my eyes are sinking
  • Was I as annoying as the 20 year olds that take public transit when I was there age?
  • Did that girl really walk out of the bathroom at work and not wash her hands?  Doesn’t she realize how gross that is?  Should I have told her that she had toilet paper on her shoe?
  • Is there still a market for the VHS tapes that I’m trying to sell or will I have to take them to Value Village?
  • Will people realize that what will become of me couch came from a book (can’t remember which one) or do they think I made it up?  Either way, it’s become a Jill-ism
  • Will the meek inherit the earth?  I don’t think so – no one will speak up to claim it, but am I wrong?
  • If I go to a 24 hour store at 3 in the morning will it really be open or is that a marketing ploy?
  • How does The Bachelor say “will you accept this rose?” with a straight face
  • How much does Chris Harrison get paid for saying “Ladies this is the final rose…Most dramatic rose ceremony ever”! etc.  I can take this off the list – $60,000 per episode – thank you Google
  • Is Phil really sorry to tell someone that they have been eliminated from “The Amazing Race”?
  • Does Kanye West really think he’s a great designer?
  • Does Kanye West really think he’s a god?
  • Why do I care about Kanye West?
  • When Drake says “You used to call me on my cell phone” – shouldn’t he say text?  Who calls anymore?  Love Hotline Bling but get real
  • Why do people love Adele so much? As a person she seems lovely, she has a great voice, but all of her songs sound the same – am I wrong?  HMMMMM…..

I know – it’s a lot to think about – you try getting through the day when there is so much going on in your head.


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Challenges

CharlotteWeb

Another year, another theme for my blog.  I’ve made one major change – at least major for me…the title is still “The Whiz-ard that is Dr. Oz” but the tag is “And Other Stories”.  I can’t just follow Dr. Oz’s advice, I mean I’ll still try some of his suggestions, but I have other stories that I would like to tell, and let’s face it, I was cheating a lot.  I’d like to do a post and not relate it back to the good Dr.  You’ll still get a healthy dose of health, but I also think growing and changing is healthy too so you’ll be getting some non-health related information from me. More Gwyneth blogs, movie recommendations, recipes my way and some inspiring interviews.

Once I decided that it was time to make some small changes, I also had to think of a theme (not a resolution) for my beloved little blog for 2016.  I sat on my “What Will Become of Me Couch” and pondered.  I lay on my sucky pillow (I’ve had it since I was 2 – I know gross) and had some deep thoughts, then fell asleep.  I sat on the subway and felt the earth move, but realized it was just a bump on the tracks.  I went to my thoughtful spot and thunk, I mean thinked…oh you know what I mean…

So drumroll (in your head) please…this year will be about CHALLENGES!!! Give me a Kermit the Frog YAY!.  Tough audience.  Last year was so challenging, that I thought I should put myself through even more!  In the words of my muse – I know wrong sex, geniuses – Dr. Oz, I want to eliminate stress by trying new things and challenging myself with things that I already love to do.  Some months, I’ll do one challenge, others more.  I’ll have several that last throughout the year,  and I’d love for you to try them with me and comment on how you are doing.

The first challenge is going to be something that I love to do, big hint it has to do with the picture at the top of my blog.  No, I’m not going to befriend a spider – it’s a reading challenge.  Reading is a big stress relief for me and I love it so I thought why not start with a reading challenge.  I belong to a modified book club at work.  Ok, it’s just me and my pal MJack at work talking about books and swapping stories (pun intended) about what we think about them.  She has great taste in books and was the first person that I thought of when I was putting Challenge #1 together.  I always love her picks and you’ll see them peppered throughout the year so MJack – this challenge is dedicated to you.

The Book Challenge (from several lists but mostly goodreads.com):

I’m going to read the following in 2016 and keep you posted on my progress:

A book about an animal
A book based on a fairytale, myth or folklore
A book based on people from a religious text
A book based on true events
A book considered a ‘classic’
A book considered a ‘modern classic’
A book from a series
A book from one of the “Must Read” lists
A book from Oprah’s book club
A book involving religion
A book involving royalty – a king, queen, prince, princess etc.
A book picked for you by someone else
A book published this year
A book someone gave you
A book that a relative or friend loves
A book that everyone is talking about
A book that you can read in a day – CompleteIf I Stay
A book that’s less than 300 pages long – CompleteWhere She Went
A book with a cover that drew you in
A book with a creative title
A book with a short title
A book with a title that describes your life
A book with a title that has more than five words
A book written by a politician
A book you borrowed
A book you could use as a doorstop (ie. 700+ pages)
A book you own but haven’t read
A book you would normally read on holiday
A book you’re embarrassed to read in public
A book you’re excited about
A book you’ve always wanted to read but haven’t
A book you’ve been putting off reading
A classic children’s book
A humorous book
A play by Shakespeare

Yup, that’s right – 35 books in total for the year.  I’m an avid reader, but GEE WHIZ that’s a lot.  I’ve finished two – but I picked easy reads, because I spent 2015 reading very difficult books including Nightingale recommended by MJack and brutal, End of You Life Book Club which you’ll hear more about, a little bit of Deepak Chopra and other assorted Debbie Downer style books.  I’ll give you lists of some of my favourite books, and tell you which you should put down because they suck and never get better.  Your welcome!  So join me – you don’t have to read 35 books to play along, you can even just send me your recos based on the list above.

Until next time, I remain,

Your bookworm