The "Whiz-ard" That Is Dr. Oz

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How Every Single Thing I Needed to Know in Life I Learned from the Kardashians!

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ugly cry face

 

Image courtesy of faceoffviolation.com

I was thinking about some of Dr. Oz’s meaningful quotes – check some of them out http://www.doctoroz.com/slideshow/dr-ozs-inspirational-quotes?gallery=true.  While they are wonderful,, they made me ponder while I was sitting on my “what will become of me couch” about who truly inspires me?  Doprah (Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey) are obvious choices…maybe too obvious.  Hillary Clinton is a genius and her husband Bill is no dummy either.  Terry Fox lived a remarkable, but short life, and was my childhood hero but as an adult, I have to get real and admit that any important life lesson that I’ve learned in the past few years, has been from the Kardashian Klan – spelling mistake intended.  Before you guffaw at this apparent shallowness, I have warned you in the past that I am the lowest common denominator when it comes to TV , so why shouldn’t they be the people that I model myself after?  Think I’m off-base?   Think again:

1.  Avoid Ugly Cry Face at All Costs – Kim Kardashian’s own brush with ugly cry face made me realize that a silent, elegant cry is the way to go.  Perhaps just a single, profound tear running down my face so that I can avoid looking like her picture.  The good news for Kim is that pretty soon, if she keeps using Botox, she won’t be able to move her face, so that look, at least for her, will be a thing of the past.

2. Want to be Famous?  Just Put Out…A Sex Tape – For those of you that don’t remember, Kim Kardashian became famous for a sex tape that she made with Ray J.  Her mother, and her manager, Kris Jenner, sending a deal, got Kim a cut of the profits.  Ever since I performed in the Kiwanis Festival of Plays, my mother has dreamed that I would be in pictures. Who am I to not make that dream come true.  Since I love Disney Princesses and a nice tiara, the storyline in my own tapes will be modeled after my favourite characters.  “Cinderfella” is a tale of a princess who only has until midnight to get to the ball….Beauty and the Beast – self explanatory….Snow White and the Seven Dwarves…too creepy for me to touch but aren’t we supposed to call them little people?

3. Have a Positive Body Image – “For me, skinny is just a style of jeans — not a goal.”  Hear hear Kim Kardashian!  I too love my skinny jeans!  That’s what she meant, right?

4. Let People Know Your Limits – When Khloe woke Kim up an hour early, Kim was very clear in her displeasure saying the following: “How f***ing dare you? You’re such an evil b***h. How spiteful and jealous are you? How f***ing dare you, Khloe? You crossed a major line with me. That s*** is not okay. You dumb, evil, little f***ing troll. You have no idea how much I hate you. You’re disgusting.”  From now on, if anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up earlier than my alarm, well, then they’ll get the same reception!  You just have to be clear about how you really feel.  

wake me up

 

image courtesy of Radar Online

5. Everyone Has Their Price – Kim on Britney Spears: “She said she loves me and she loves my butt and how she wants to be my lesbian lover. I mean, what do you say to that other than ‘No thanks’? Actually, maybe I would do it for a million bucks.”  I personally, would eat a bug for a million dollars – like I said, everyone has their price and it’s important to know yours.

6. Don’t Hit on Someone’s Husband or Boyfriend – Khloe told The Insider: “If I even imagined someone talking to my husband too close, I would beat the crap out of them.”  Although she is no longer with Lamar Odom, she has a new beau, French Montana, and I’m sure the same degree of violence would apply.  This really inspired me to remember why I never hit on a taken man – other than the fact that it’s morally wrong of course.  It’s about knowing where you are on the food chain.  At not quite 5’4 on a tall day, and with the strength of a 90 year old lady, I have no prayer of defending myself.  An important life lesson.

This is just the beginning of the life lessons that I’ve learned from the Krazy Kardashian Klan or KKK as I affectionately call them.  More life lessons to come, but for now, how about a moment of gratitude?  Yesterday, I went to a party at my former dance teacher’s house.  It was great catching up with old friends and visiting someone who truly does inspire me with her talent and love for life.  Until next time, I remain…

Gratefully yours,

Jill

 

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Author: Jill Schneiderman

Hello and welcome to my blog. This started as a one year experiment to try to improve my health, turning to Dr. Oz for advice. One year became two and after that, the writing bug hit and writing about travel, lifestyle and my own musings became more fun. I'll return to the "Whiz-ard" when the feeling comes, but exploring other topics and getting to connect with new people and re-connect with old friends has been fun! Remember, any health advice you see here should be vetted with your family doctor. Any travel advice that I give though, should be followed! I am a marketing professional, working in media. This allows me to continue my obsession with all things TV and print and get paid for it. I'm an avid traveller, reader and shopper but make time for friends, family and volunteering so that I don't feel completely shallow.

2 thoughts on “How Every Single Thing I Needed to Know in Life I Learned from the Kardashians!

  1. LOVE this post! Lots of good lessons to be learned from the K sisters. I think they could teach marketing/branding at the college level, especially Mama Kris.

    Like

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