Courtesy of me!!!!!!!!!!
I’m not going to repeat my self and tell you that stress causes inflammation…oops I just did, but I just saw some interesting clips on doctoroz.com to help out if you are feeling overwhelmed. The last few years have been a bit overwhelming for me, if truth be told. Family illness and togetherness comes with it’s own set of feeling stress. Worry is tough and worrying about a family member (maybe more than one) has become a regular part of my life. I am close with my family, sure they drive me crazy, but whose doesn’t really? When I was younger, I’d fixate on the perceived perfect families around me. I understand now, that was an illusion – that no family is perfect and I am grateful for the one that I have. But, the worry…
Speaking of worry – how about a job market where options are shrinking and demands are maximizing? I love my job – truly. I am never bored – I often get to do really cool things, it’s creative, I’m constantly learning…but the demands are even greater than the reward. I went to the doctor for my first physical in the fall. My blackberry (again, please don’t make fun of my little device) rang as my doctor came to get me. It was my client. I told him that I would call him back, that I was at the doctor. He wanted to know when… Here is what I said, “I’m not sure, I’m hoping to be in the office in an hour and I’ll be sure to call you just as soon as I get there.” Here was my dream reply, “As soon as the doctor finishes my pap smear – I could stay on the phone if you’d like.” He really is a lovely guy – but like most people – he wants what he wants when he wants it. Part of my problem is that I’m a natural people pleaser and want people to have a good experience if they are working with me. In this case, I should have put my needs first and let the call go into voice mail. That was my choice. Which leads to something that I learned from Dr. Oz. When you are Type A (which I am) you feel the need to control everything. The truth is, you really control nothing. Control, like a David Copperfield magic trick, is just an illusion, because we don’t have control, what we have are choices.
Dr. Oz’s brilliant guest told a control freak to name 3 things that she had control over and she would get $3,000. She had answers, but instead of being things that she truly had control over, she was told that these things were choices. I thought I at least had control over things like my health, but the truth is, I can make choices that will optimize it or make it worse. Control over my thoughts? Hogwash, my mind wanders more than I care to admit, and I am one of those people that can do a few things at once. I can choose to focus though. This is so painful for little old me to admit. The guest (I’ll look up his name) had three steps to decreasing stress:
- Let go of the illusion of control – as I mention above, we just don’t have any. You can say that you can control how you communicate with someone. Na-ah – that’s a choice silly!
- Stress is self-created. You don’t manage stress, you have to prevent it and you can do this by remembering that stress is a learned behaviour. I’ll have to ponder this a bit..I’d also add that it’s a reactionary behaviour. You become stressed at times, by a situation, not just by learning.
- Examine your belief system, not others. Have integrity and don’t judge. We can all be judge-y wudge-y, but you can choose to mind your own business. I say live and let live.There are too many people who sit in judgement of others and they are usually the sexist, egotistical, lying, bullying bigots of the world. I’m going to make sure that I don’t join their ranks.
He also mentioned that when you are stressed, you aren’t enjoying your life. I’m going to think about what he said and take time to smell the flowers. I posted the ocean picture above because that’s where I feel the most calm. I don’t even love a beach holiday – I find it stressful doing nothing, but I really do love the ocean…maybe it was from growing up in Atlantic Canada. I’m going to have to work on de-stressing, but that, like everything else that I have been learning, will be a process.
Until next time, I am…