Jill Of Some Trades

And Master Of At Least One





(image courtesy of http://www.freewebs.com/embroiderydesignstore/apps/photos../photo?photoid=92177108)

I just can’t help but be inspired by Gwyneth Paltrow.  For today only, and for one last blog, I chooseth to write in the voice of the hardest working mother in the stratosphere.  In fact, so inspired am I by her genius, that I decided to rename my blog Goop but realized that it was already taken by my muse.  I am renaming my blog Plop in her honour.  I am feeling rather out of sorts though – are Goop and Plop verbs or nouns?  You can make the argument that Goop is a noun, for example, “what is this goop on my plate?” but plop seems to be a verb.  I actually would prefer not to write a sentence containing plop – it is not lady-like.  Now on from such trivial matters to how Gwyneth inspires me and my journey on the road to good health. I thought that I would use some facts and quotes to illustrate our similarities:

1) Gwyneth’s middle name is Kate.  My middle name is Kate!  Oh wait – I don’t have a middle name – in fact my name is a four letter word – not that kind – oh never mind.  BAD EXAMPLE!

2) “Life is “different” when you have an “office job” because it’s “routine and you know, you can do all the stuff in the morning and then you come home in the evening,”.   She is absolutely right.  I don’t know why mother’s all over the planet are so up in arms over this.  She has it much harder than most everyone.  She works, at most, in her supporting roles 782 hours a year (14 hour days x 8 weeks) while the average working woman works a minimum of 2080 hours over 52 weeks.  This of course doesn’t include commute time in a luxurious long vehicle (either a bus or a subway usually).  Although I am not a mother, I can only speak for myself when it comes to how much easier and more routine my job is than hers!  Why this week alone, I had to be up at 3:45am to be at a taping for our morning show with a client. The night before, I did make sure I was out of the office, but I had a client dinner (not complaining, our clients are lovely, but there is an expectation in my role that a few times a month you must entertain).  I started my day yesterday at 9am, but didn’t make plans for the evening since I knew that I would be at work late.  I am also heading into the office for a bit today (Saturday).  All very routine and simple – thank you Gwyneth, for reminding everyone how easy we have it compared to you.

3) I don’t hold on to fear as much as I used to, because I’ve learned a lot about genuinely not caring what strangers think about me. It’s very liberating. It’s very empowering, and I’ve learned a lot of that from Jay—Shawn Carter—Z, because his approach to life is very internal. It’s a very good lesson to learn.”  I KNOW right?  I used to hang on to fear too!  I used to totally be afraid of flying and bugs (all including spiders even though they are not technically in the same class, order and family as the lowly bug).  Oh, wait – I still am afraid of them. I don’t care about what strangers think though – and it is empowering, although I didn’t learn that from Jay-Z – I learned it from my Mom.  Oh, that seems so trite compared to Gwyneth.  SIGH.

4)  “I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin.”  I too, would rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin – and I know just the Toronto mayor that can get us some Gwyneth!  Actually, I do love cheese but as per my Dr. Oz vow, it’s a treat only and I haven’t had any in four weeks.  My main source of dairy is and forevermore will be Greek yogurt.

5) “We’re human beings and the sun is the sun—how can it be bad for you? I don’t think anything that’s natural can be bad for you,”  How sage is her wisdom?  Nothing natural can be bad for you – so true.  Why opium is from poppies, therefore it is natural and no one would ever abuse opiates.  Sugar is natural and eating something so natural is great for you, isn’t it?  The sun is natural, and we do need a limited amount to get Vitamin D, but of course, the sun never causes skin cancer (Jill says sarcastically).  I choose to wear sunscreen (Dr. Oz approved) and also take D3 supplements as recommended by my “Whiz-ard”.

6) “When I pass a flowering zucchini plant in a garden, my heart skips a beat.”  When I pass zucchini in a grocery store – my heart skips a beat!  Not only is this little vegetable a big source of Vitamin C and other sources of nutrients, it’s also on Dr. Oz’s list of low glycemic vegetables!

7) “I’ll never forget it. I was starting to hike up the red rocks, and honestly, it was as if I heard the rock say, ‘You have the answers. You are your teacher.’ I thought I was having an auditory hallucination.”  I’ll never forget a trip that my friends and I took to The Biggest Loser Resort in Malibu several years ago (we all love the show).  I’m not a huge hiker and every day for 5 days in a row, they made us hike mountains.  At the end of the week, it was honestly as if I heard the waves of the ocean in the distance say to me “You are a schmuck – you are in total pain – what were you thinking? At least you didn’t sprain your ankle or get Lyme Disease.”  I thought I was having an auditory hallucination and then a month and a half later, my toe nail, blackened from the trauma of the hikes fell off and I knew that it was true.  Although Dr. Oz thinks exercise is important – so just find one that you will love and is in your skill set.  Clearly, I should stick to dance and working out with my trainer…indoors.

Allow me to end with a moment of gratitude.  Today, I am grateful for the inspiration that GP has provided me over the last two days.  I’ll be more serious tomorrow.  Promise…and until then,

I am gratefully yours,




Author: Jill Schneiderman

Hello and welcome to my blog. This started as a one year experiment to try to improve my health, turning to Dr. Oz for advice. One year became two and after that, the writing bug hit and writing about travel, lifestyle and my own musings became more fun so my blog evolved from The Whiz-Ard That is Dr. Oz into Jill of Some Trades. After the death of my mother, I added grief to my list of topics and this became a place for me to remember the good, but embrace the sad as well. I'll never write about any one thing - there is just so much in the world to comment on. Life is all about crying and laughing and learning, sometimes all at once and this is what I hope that my blog is for you.

6 thoughts on “Plop

  1. Hilarious!!!!! :))


  2. This was another great one JILLSY:) ! The office job comment had me up in arms!! Lots to talk about at the Seder.


  3. Thanks Barb : ) yes – big week in conscious uncoupling. It’s going to be hard to stop writing about Gwyneth!


  4. Pingback: Revisiting Meditation | The "Whiz-ard" That Is Dr. Oz

  5. Pingback: Plop – Revisiting My Take on Goop | The "Whiz-ard" That Is Dr. Oz

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